You Can’t Force a Kid to Want to Win: Why Competitiveness Must Be Organic
This blog explores the critical difference between organic competitiveness and forced motivation in youth baseball. It outlines how to recognize real internal drive in young athletes, the developmental signs that indicate readiness for advanced training, and the risks of parental overreach—particularly from fathers projecting their own unfulfilled goals. Parents, coaches, and mentors will learn how to properly assess whether a player is ready for development-based summer baseball, how to use non-developmental leagues as testing grounds, and how to seek objective feedback when a shift in competitiveness begins to emerge. Ideal for those navigating player development, youth sports growth stages, summer baseball program decisions, and long-term athlete readiness.
SUMMER BASEBALL
You Can’t Force a Kid to Want to Win: Why Competitiveness Must Be Organic
In youth baseball, one of the most common mistakes parents make—especially fathers—is trying to force their kid to be competitive. But the truth is simple: you can’t make them want to win. That drive has to show up on its own. If it doesn’t, it won’t last.
Have you ever seen your child suddenly become more competitive—without you saying a word?
Drop your experience in the comments on the blog.
Step 1: Recognize the Signs of Real Motivation
Some players just want to play for fun. Others start showing signs that they want to improve. Both are fine—but they’re completely different tracks.
Before you lock in a high-level summer team or training program, ask yourself:
Is your kid starting to self-correct in practice or games?
Do they get frustrated—not pouty, but focused—when they miss plays?
Are they asking deeper questions, like how to get stronger, faster, or better?
If those signs are showing up without being pushed, you might be looking at a young athlete ready for the next level.
Step 2: Let It Surface Naturally—Don’t Manufacture It
Parents often project their own unfulfilled goals onto their child. It’s almost always unintentional. But when the kid’s drive is fueled by what dad wants—instead of what he wants—it becomes performative. That usually ends with burnout or quitting.
That’s why non-developmental “adventure leagues” matter. They’re low pressure. But they also reveal a lot:
If your child starts getting annoyed in a casual setting, they might be ready for more.
If they start standing out physically, mentally, or emotionally—pay attention.
If they say, “I want more than this,” that’s your cue.
You’re not looking for stats—you’re watching demeanor, intensity, and focus.
Step 3: Ask Someone Who Doesn’t Have a Stake in the Outcome
Don’t ask the guy who runs the $3,000 travel team if your son is ready for the next level. His answer is already biased.
Instead, talk to:
A former college or pro player you trust
A coach with no financial interest in your decision
A mentor who can observe and give honest feedback
Ask them to watch your kid. Say something simple:
“I think something’s changing in him. Do you see it too?”
If they confirm what you’re seeing, then talk to your son. Don’t push—just ask. And if he says, “Yeah, I’m ready to take it more seriously,” that’s when you help him level up.
Want to Develop a Hitter—Not Just a Player?
If your son is ready to get serious at the plate, Coach Leo’s book outlines a proven system that builds elite hitters from the ground up.
BASS: Barrel Accuracy and Swing Strength – The Path to Elite Level Hitting
Visit: www.luposbaseball.com
Disclaimer:
The content shared is for informational purposes only. This is not a judgment of any person or program mentioned. All names and events are discussed from personal memory and are not meant to accuse or endorse. The goal is to share insight from lived experience.
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